A Prayer written by HaRav Eliezer
Berland, shlit"a,
for Purim.
Click here
to listen to a (very
old,
very slow and very
Ashkenazic) reading of the Megilla.
(Unfortunately with a few words missing in
two places.)
(Here are the chapter times: 2 -
8:32, 3 - 18:23, 4 - 24:53, 5 - 30:03, 6 -
35:00, 7 - 40:20, 8 - 44:30, 9 - 52:14, 10
- 62:24)
1. May it be Your Will, Hashem our G-d
and the G-d of our
forefathers, Who does miracles in every generation,
“Who fights our battles”
that, in Your endless compassion, You will have mercy
on us and save us
in an amazing way. Help us so that we will be worthy
to receive the holy
days of Purim and to fulfill all their holy
commandments in a pure
and holy manner, joyfully and with the most powerful
delight. Help us to
fulfill all of the commandments that apply to Purim
in all their
detail, with proper intention, and a consciousness of
how all the other
six hundred and thirteen commandments relate to
them.
2. Master of the Universe, You revealed to
us that all
the miracles that You did for our ancestors in the
past shine continuously
into the present. They can brighten every generation
and every person’s
every living moment. Help us so that we will be able
to experience the
light and sanctity of Purim, and all the
festivals. Give us the
power to feel the illumination of the miracles that
were done then and
to feel how they are constantly performed anew for
each and every one of
us.
3. That is why I have come before You in
prayer, Hashem.
Teach me, show me the way, grant me this undeserved
gift and make me feel
true Purim joy, an endless joy that I feel
with all my heart and
soul. And with this joy, may I, together with the rest
of the Jewish people,
become worthy of the purity that the Red Heifer brings
upon us, a cleansing
from the impurity of contact with the dead. Help us to
draw this purity
upon ourselves through true Purim joy, so that
we will be pure in
time to receive the holiness of the Pesach
sacrifice.
4. Master of the Universe, You know how
deep we have fallen
in this bitter exile and how intense the spiritual
pain of the Jewish people
really is—especially my pain and trouble. You know how
I am drowning and
how I am pursued, and how I feel that there is no way
out or any hope.
Hashem, I need You to do miracles for me. You have
always done wonders
for the Jewish people, especially the greatest miracle
which is the miracle
of Purim. It used to be that all beginnings
were from Pesach,
but now—but now they are from Purim. Help me
to make new beginnings
now.
5. Master of the Universe, You know the
truth—that of all
the miracles that You performed for us throughout
history, the greatest
one is when You rescue us spiritually. For all of the
pain that we suffer
at the hands of those who persecute us is rooted in
their resentment of
our faith in You. They hate that we long to follow
Your holy Torah and
to publicize the truth of Your Providence and rule in
the world. It is
only because of this that, in every generation, they
stand against us to
destroy us, but You save us from their hands.
6. Master of the Universe, Lord of joy,
the only G-d, what
an awesome hour this is! It is like Yom HaKippurim,
when the Shechinah
enters the King’s inner sanctum to beg for mercy for a
threatened Jewish
people. We are on the verge of being utterly
destroyed. The entire world
knows it, and no one opens their mouths in protest.
But, on this day, the
Shechinah
dons her white garments and enters the place that she
enters. It is a place
where no angel or heavenly accuser may enter. The
Satan himself fears coming
near to that holy place. A day when the impure husk of
Haman-Amalek has
no power. It is a day of joy and happiness in all the
worlds, a day when
all souls return to a state of primeval perfection. A
day on which there
is no depression—no sighing! On Purim, we can
strip off the garments
of pride that are the cast-off remnants from the
Snake, and go out into
the streets singing and dancing. It is a day when
everything superficial
is transformed into its true inner meaning, when all
the worlds receive
light from the fiftieth gate. The material is changed
into the spiritual,
on this day which is the root of all holiness and joy.
It is a day that
is the source of all miracles, a day of receiving the
Torah again out of
love. I beg of You, on this day bring me into the
realm of constant joy.
Allow me to bask in its light all year long, to feel
true happiness in
You and Your true Tzaddikim. Help me feel this
joy that can give
me the strength to break out of all my sins and
defects, from all my failures
and despair, so that I will never fall into them
again. I beg of You, Hashem,
make me worthy of spontaneous prayer so joy filled
that it will make me
want to sing and dance. Make me able to say the kind
of Tikkun Chatzos
that
is like David’s harp, an outpouring of my heart that
stems from intense
joy. Help me to get up and say it at midnight—when all
the heavenly gates
are open and nothing can obstruct my prayer.
7. Master of the
Universe, please
shower upon us the highest level of heavenly awe on
this holy day that
is like Yom HaKippurim. On this day, You
stretch Your golden scepter
out to us, and shower heavenly awe upon us; this
itself is the spiritual
source of all the gold. And through this awe, please
make me worthy of
subduing the forces of impurity. Oh G-d, full of
mercy and compassion,
make us worthy of getting up every night at
midnight, the hour which was
the beginning of Haman’s downfall, so that we will
be fit to receive the
gift of awe, the awe that the Tzaddikim
feel. Open up for us then
Your treasury, from which all gold and holy wealth
comes. Sustain us, so
that we should no longer be in debt, and that we
should not have to run
around in circles chasing after our livelihoods. And
when the Tablets become
revealed on this holy day, help us to come to holy
understanding. Send
an abundance of holy wealth down to us from the
place that the Shechinah
, which is Knesses Yisrael, enters. It is a place
where no one dares to
come and make an accusation against the Jewish
people. It is the place
of the holy Tablets, the foundation stone from where
the holy Torah is
drawn out to everyone in accordance with his pleas
and his preparations.
“They give to anyone who stretches forth his hand.”
It is the place from
which we receive the Tablets that are Torah, and the
sapphire shavings
of the Tablets that are wealth.
8. I beg of You, Hashem! I will cry to You
with every fiber
of my being, with every wish of my heart and all my
senses. I shudder from
fear of You, and I am afraid of Your judgments. You
are dreaded in the
council of the angels, and revered by those who
surround You. I am confounded
before You. I will contemplate and fear You.
9. Please, Almighty and Righteous G-d, You
know the power
of the awe that the true Tzaddikim merited to
attain through their
efforts and true self-sacrifice. It brought them to
know You and revere
You. And it is so powerful, that it can influence even
us. Have mercy on
us for their sakes, and grant us a portion of their
holy awe, so that we
too should experience complete awe of You always. Let
us feel that awe
so strongly, that we will not sin any more, and that
we will return to
You with all our hearts.
10. Have mercy on me for Your Name’s sake,
and fill me
with a constant yearning and longing to come close to
true Tzaddikim
and G-d fearing people. With this longing I will have
the power to break
through all kinds of obstacles and to bear all sorts
of hardships, so that
I should come close to true Tzaddikim. Help me
so that I can actually
develop a relationship with them, attach myself to
them, and truly receive
complete fear of You from them, so that I can always
be the way that You
want me to be. Help me to create a pure and holy
vessel out of the obstacles
that I break through, one that will be able to receive
an abundance of
good and blessing, for us and all Israel.
11. Master of the Universe, Merciful and
Exalted, be kind
to us and answer us. Make us truly G-d fearing. You
are holy and Your Name
inspires awe; all the heavenly hosts tremble from
terror of Your Name,
and all of them do Your Will with fear and awe. Give
us fear, Merciful
One, give us fear! Fearful and Awesome One, give us
fear! “Give fear for
You, Hashem our G-d, to all that You made, and terror
of You to all that
You created. And all that You made will fear You, and
all the creations
will bow before You. All of them will band together to
do Your Will wholeheartedly.”
12. Master of the Universe, do wonders for
us so that we
be able to truly return to You. Teach me Your way,
Hashem, and I will walk
in Your truth. Unify my heart to fear Your Name. Holy
One, save us and
help us to attain everything we have asked for and
grant us true fear of
You. Our fear of You will bring You great pleasure, so
that You will send
an abundance of good, blessing, mercy, life, and peace
down to us. Send
us children, life and sustenance, wealth, honor, and
all kinds of material
and spiritual good now and forever so that we should
never feel disgraced.
Raise us up higher and higher, until we attain a lofty
fear of You. Such
fear will perfect our actions so that we, ourselves,
will complete Your
Holy Name in this world. Your Name will become more
and more known, and
all humanity will return to You and all will serve You
in awe. “But as
for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude
of Your love, and
in the fear of You will I worship towards Your holy
Temple.”
13. Master of the
Universe, please
make us worthy of singing and dancing non stop,
throughout this day of
joy. Especially the simple dancing in circles that
help our sins to be
forgiven, for their spiritual source is repentance
inspired by love of
G-d, which, in turn, is sparked by reading the Megilla
with fear
and trembling, while crying tears of repentance. And
that fear has as it's
source the fear of G-d that Mordechai the Tzaddik
shared with the
Jewish people when he rent his garment and donned
sackcloth and ashes,
when he cried the great and bitter cry that stilled
Esav’s cry. I beg of
You, Hashem, allow this awe to bring us to true
Purim joy, endless joy
that, in turn, arouses and intensifies our awe.
Through this, may we merit
to experience the state of “until he does not know.”
14. Master of the Universe, Great and
Awesome G-d, make
us holy like Mordechai and Esther whose great holiness
was strong enough
to release the entire Jewish people from the impure
husk of Haman-Amalek.
Hashem, whose awe is upon all the denizens of the
upper and lower worlds,
make me able to see Mordechai and Esther in the Megilla.
Have pity
on me so that I will be worthy of standing during the
entire Megilla
reading in awe. That I should hear every single letter
with incredible
reverence. That my tears should flow like water during
the reading of this
Megilla—for
it must be drafted like a Torah scroll, and is
considered as holy as a
Torah scroll. Help me to truly feel the troubles that
the Jewish people
were in then and to feel how much suffering we have
gone through throughout
history. Then I will be able to pour my heart out like
water and break
through the steel walls that surround my stopped up
heart when we reach
the verse, “great mourning among the Jews, and
fasting, and weeping, and
wailing, and many lay in sackcloth and ashes.” All the
generations will
pass before my eyes, all the pure and holy ones who
were cruelly murdered.
And the six million holy and pure Jews that were
slaughtered using every
bizarre means—such a massacre, the world has never
seen anything like it.
Woe to us, that such has happened to us in our
generation.
15. I beg of You, Hashem, make me like
queen Esther who
is the holy Shechinah, who fell down at the
king’s feet and begged
him to avert Haman’s scheme against the Jews. Make me
worthy of tearing
my heart into pieces over the many troubles that
afflict the Jewish people,
and over the terrifying decrees that affect us
materially and spiritually
that we hear about all the time. Help me be able to
pour my heart out like
water, especially at midnight when all the heavenly
gates are open, at
the time that is called “before the face of Hashem.” I
will then be able
to speak to You from the depths of my heart every day
at all times. Make
me like Mordechai the Jew, who went out and cried
bitterly in the streets.
I will, then, also be able to nullify the awful
decrees that are forever
renewing themselves against the Jewish people, and to
nullify the evil
forces that fight against us day and night. So “give
us our lives at our
petition, and our nation at our request, for we, I and
my people, are sold
to be destroyed, slain, annihilated,” and wiped off
the face of the earth.
16. Master of the Universe, full of mercy,
be kind to us,
for the souls of the living and the dead are in Your
Hands. You can change
all these decrees in the blink of an eye, especially
on the holy day of
Purim.
You revealed to us that the main sweetening of
judgments can be achieved
today through singing and dancing both at home and in
the streets. Have
pity and favor us on this day of transformations, so
that we can sanctify
it with Torah and prayer, with fear of Heaven, and
holy joy. Help us guard
our eyes from impure sights and sanctify the Covenant;
Cleanse our minds
and send us holy thoughts, for on this day, if we will
only sanctify it,
harsh judgments will have no hold on us at all. Light
can then be drawn
down from the fiftieth gate, and even the dead can be
brought back to life.
17. I beg of You,
Merciful and Compassionate
G-d, help us to see Mordechai the Jew go out in his
princely garments and
“put his hand in the crevice,” in all the cracks and
crevices, and hint
to us to throw away our filthy garments of
arrogance. “My beloved put his
hand in by the crevice,” a crack that goes clear
through to the other side.
If only the words of Torah would become engraved on
our hearts, clear through
from one side to the other! If only Mordechai and
Esther could become engraved
on our hearts. The words of the Tzaddikim
should never leave us.
That is the way it would have been before the first
sin, just as the words
of Torah were inscribed on Adam HaRishon’s heart so
that all he saw was
G-dliness. May it be Your Will Hashem, that we
should never again fall
away from You, and never fall into the realm of the
Other Side, Heaven
forbid, and that we should never trespass the bounds
that the Tzaddikim
set up.
18. Master of the Universe, Lord of joy,
strength and delight
is in Your Place, and there is no sorrow before You.
Help us to fulfill
the commandment of the omer of barley, the
aspect of “hands
and feet” which is Mordechai and Esther’s hand
clapping and dancing. May
they bring us to experience renewed understanding of
the revealed and hidden
parts of the Torah. “Their omer of barley came
and was victorious
over him and his sons.” Through our songs and
melodies, make us victorious
over the Other Side and all her minions. Help me to
enliven myself with
every good point I have ever managed to bring into
being, even though I
have done wrong and stumbled too. Give me the ability
to lay my hands and
mind aside and simply raise my eyes to the Tzaddikim
who “put [their]
hand in the crevice,” Tzaddikim like
Mordechai, who went out in
princely garments and put his hand in the cracks, who
peeked through all
the cracks to bring even someone as far away from You
as I am, closer.
I, who defiled myself in so many ways. I, who have
already sunk to the
very abyss and, G-d save us, have already lost all
hope. Make me worthy
of coming close to the true Tzaddik who
doesn’t give up on anyone,
who works all that much more for those who rely on
him, who beg and plead
with him to come and meet them halfway. Bring me close
to such true Tzaddikim
, who always hold our hands. They continually inspire
and encourage us
to come closer to You, to long for You, no matter what
happens, never to
pay attention to any obstacle. And they strengthen us
with good advice,
telling us to sing and to dance.
19. Master of the
Universe, everything
is known to You and You can accomplish anything. You
know what the nations
and the enemies of the Jewish people are thinking
and see all their plans
for us. Merciful G-d, I come before You in the merit
of the true Tzaddikim
. Strengthen us to sing and dance today for Your
sake and not for our own,
for the honor of Your Name, and not for our own
honor. For we are debased,
we are completely broken to pieces and honor is the
furthest thing from
us, so do it for the sake of Your Name. And in the
merit of our singing
and dancing, please make those leaders who plot
against us have a change
of heart for the better. Please, overturn their
schemes against Your holy
people, and nullify all the decrees that can harm
us, both those that have
already been decided, and those that they would like
to put into effect,
G-d forbid. Both those that are already public
knowledge, and those that
haven’t even been heard about. Completely nullify
and uproot them! Overturn
the hearts of all the world leaders just as You
overturned Achashverosh’s
heart, so that all that happens should be only for
our good.
20. Hashem, You know that in this time
before Moshiach
arrives, we have no one to rely on but You. In Your
great mercy, purify
our singing so that we will be able to sweeten all the
judgments and nullify
all the harsh decrees from ourselves and from the rest
of the Jewish people
through song alone. Hear our song, may it sound sweet
to You so that You
will have mercy on us and save us.
21. May we be worthy of singing and making
music before
You. Singing and praising You, and truly serving You
always. Through this
may we awaken the Song of Songs and all the ten types
of song that make
up the book of Tehillim, which is derived from
all the good points
in every Jew, which King David revealed. They say that
the chazan
sees from where the children read. This is the true Tzaddik
who
is the true
chazan. He raises up the prayers by finding an
abundance
of good points in each and every Jew. The good points
want to become incorporated
in the Tzaddik, for he constructs beautiful
melodies from them.
Because he finds so much good in every Jew, he has
revealed to him every
melody that has ever existed. The heavens and the
earth become revealed
to him and he gives all of creation—even the
wicked—the benefit of the
doubt, for he knows what an integral part of the plan
they are. He knows
that Divine sparks from the endless light and the
endless melody are within
them, which come from the very root of creation.
22. That is why we usually read VaYikra
before Purim
during a leap year, when there are two Adars,
which is the aspect
of Menashe and Efrayim, “Menashe” is from, “G-d made
me forget,” as if
I forget everything and begin again, as if I was just
born today. The little
children begin to study Torah from VaYikra,
for that is where the
good points are revealed—the good that lies within
each person. And the
Tzaddik
is worthy of being able to see them. He is the
holiest—the most removed
from materialism; he guards the Covenant in the most
absolute way. It is
this quality that makes him able to see the good that
lies within every
single Jew. By doing this, he makes melodies and
sweetens all the judgments.
23. Please, our Father in heaven, Merciful
Father, let
the spirit of the Tzaddik who is like
Mordechai fill us and cleanse
us from all trace of arrogance, so that we will be
unable to see even the
slightest blemish in any other Jew. Have him send out
his hand into the
crevice and open a space up in our hearts, in our
hands and feet, and in
every limb. Have him remove the impure husk that comes
from Haman-Achashverosh,
that crouches within us and stops up our minds and our
senses.
24. Please, Merciful Father, send us the Tzaddik
who will blow his spirit into us and awaken us to song
and dance, who will
split the sinews of our stiff necks and all of our
insensitive and stopped
up limbs and senses.
25. Please, Hashem, may it be Your Will
that our singing
and dancing will break through all of the blockages in
our hearts and minds,
our limbs and sinews, and in our arteries and senses.
And may we merit
to dance and sing for the honor of the House of
G-d.
26. Master of the Universe, King who is
full of Mercy,
nullify all evil decrees from upon us and save us on
this day. And even
if the messengers have already gone out at breakneck
speed, it is within
Your power to turn them back and transform them into
messengers who race
to bring good news. And even if “it has been
sealed with the King’s
signet and cannot be brought back,” it is within Your
power to renew our
minds and seal us with Your signet for salvation,
life, and peace, for
health, success, holy wealth, and everything good. For
You can do anything—no
one can dictate to You.
27. I beg of You,
Hashem, there is
no limit to Your kindness. Have mercy on us. You
have pity and send salvation
to anyone, no matter where he is, if he will only
rely on Your great mercy
and endless salvation. Please, send us help from the
limitless wellsprings
of Your salvation, that constantly renew themselves
with increasingly greater
force.
28. Our Merciful
Father, in the merit
of being joyful on Purim, nullify all our
bad inclinations that
remain from our youth that are like leaven. As the
Baal Shem Tov says about
the commandment not to see chametz or leaven
within our precincts
on Pesach—that we should not, Heaven forbid,
find fault with any
Jew in the world. I beg of You, Hashem, make us
worthy of loving each other
with all our hearts and souls, that we should only
see the good points
of our friends, and not their weaknesses. Then the
heavenly accusation
against us of our being, “a scattered and divided
people” will be stilled.
And we will be, again, like one being with a single
heart, we will only
find favor in each other’s eyes. If we could only
accomplish this, we could
hear the Ten Commandments again. For, when we love
each other, we become
able to see the light of the Torah, to receive it
all over again and hear
the Ten Commandments from the mouth of G-d.
29. Please, Hashem, save me from this
foolishness that
tries to persuade me to find fault with well-meaning,
G-d-fearing Jews.
Purify our hearts so that we should not be so bold as
to harbor suspicions
about Torah scholars. Any blemish that I would find
would, anyway, only
be a projection of my own flaws. And these flaws have
split our hearts
so that the seventy-two Tzaddikim that exist
in every generation
are hidden from us, and we don’t clearly know even one
of them. How terrible,
that our sins and divided hearts have caused all
this!
30. Master of the Universe, help me to
always remember
that I am the guilty one. Because I haven’t forced
myself to love others.
The accusation of, “a scattered and divided people”
can be applied to me.
And because I can’t stand to see my friend be more
successful than I am,
my eyes have been corrupted and my consciousness of
G-dliness has left
me. Because I spoke before seeing, suspected without
the slightest proof,
I myself actually destroyed the Temple. I have
destroyed the entire world.
I myself brought these harsh decrees upon the Jewish
people with my own
hands and once again have shattered the vessels that I
should have repaired.
My G-d! Such an awful destruction I caused in all the
worlds! If I had
only put others first and done their will, I could
have unified all the
sefirot!
Instead of seeking peace like Aharon, instead of
seeking good for the people
like Mordechai, I went to the opposite extreme. I
kindled the fire of controversy
and spoke evil of my betters. I even spoke against
scholars. I was like
Korach and his band who argued with Moshe, Aharon, and
the entire community
of worthy Jews. I have almost completely destroyed the
whole world on my
own.
31. My G-d! How I’ve strayed from the
straight path! Instead
of joining right and left together, instead of
believing that I am the
left and my friend is the right, I’ve done the very
opposite. I made the
enmity that exists between Jews even worse with my
lies and my slander.
I lost my Tzelem Elokim, [G-dly appearance]
and fell from loving
G-d into animalistic love of the material. Because I
slandered others,
I lost my G-dly awareness and fell into foolishness.
How terrible. I acted
like the Serpent and fell into a place that is even
below that of the Serpent’s.
I destroyed all the worlds and all the sefirot,
I myself shattered
the vessels and turned the world back to a state of
chaos. I created empty
heavens and a worthless earth. I have been like the
seven ill-favored cows
that swallowed up the seven good ones without changing
for the better,
for, instead of being worthy of the ashes of the Red
Heifer—of making myself
like “dust and ashes”—instead of being like Yosef who
merited to clarify
his faculty of imagination and thereby interpret the
dreams, I fell into
musing over things that never happened at all. I
brought hell out of its
place of concealment. I kindled its fires and blew its
flame into life
by destroying peace which is the foundation of all
creation. And Your Name
is peace. Master of the Universe! Make us worthy of
always praying for
the peace of the entire Jewish people, and that we
should never be even
an indirect cause of bloodshed, either through our
actions, or through
hurtful speech. Especially me, who has already spilled
the blood of good
and worthy people by shaming them. How did I do this
to myself? If I had
only taken care not to do this, I would have been
worthy of drawing all
types of healing power into simple bread and water,
and my food would have
been like the
manna.
32. Master of the Universe! I beg of You,
bring me to all
the spiritual levels that are hidden within the
commandment to send portions
of food to our friends on Purim. For sending
out portions on Purim
can make us see the unique beauty of every single Jew.
And when we discover
the unique beauty inherent in everyone, we uncover the
secrets of the creation
in all its detail, from the minute gnat to the lion
who is king of the
beasts, from the lion’s mane down to the tiniest worm
in the sea.
33. Please, G-d, help me discover every
facet of unique
beauty that is within every single Jew, from that
which the simple person
who gives a penny to a poor man possesses, all the way
to the Torah scholar
who never rests. Help me to only see their infinite
unique beauty, their
beauty that glorifies You, for that is what You take
pride in—the worthy
actions of each and every Jew. What have I done!
Instead of judging all
Jews favorably, I did the very opposite, and I even
found fault with those
commandments that all Jews observe.
34. Master of the Universe, Your Mercy has
no limit. I
believe with absolute faith that You have the power to
change any of Your
creations from one extreme to the other, even from
evil to good. And it
is within Your power to change me as well. For,
although it is written,
“Can an Ethiopian change his skin or a leopard his
spots,” You can do anything.
You can make changes that are beyond human
understanding. You can square
a circle, and reconcile the paradoxical. That is why I
believe completely
that You can even refine someone as faulty as I am.
And I am the worst
person who ever walked the earth, for my entire nature
and all my thoughts
are negative. And only You really know what I am, what
kind of terrible
thoughts flood my mind constantly. They muddy my
spirit and pull me into
despair. I almost feel as though my life is
meaningless. As much as I try
to gain wisdom, as much as I try to do hisbodedus,
I just don’t
manage to accomplish anything. I haven’t stepped as
much as a hairsbreadth
into the realm of holiness! But I know, oh I know, and
I believe with all
my heart, that even though I’ve been swallowed body
and soul by the impure
husk of Haman, I’ve been transformed into the ten sefirot
of the
Other Side, and I’ve become stuck in every one of the
fifty gates of impurity.
Even so, You can fulfill, “and it was turned to the
contrary” in me, and
completely turn me around. Just as You grabbed Yeravam
ben Nevat by his
garment and said, “Return” and You promised to bring
him into Gan Eden,
have mercy on me too! Grab me by my garment, hold onto
me by the locks
of my hair so that I should never fall again.
35. Please, Merciful Father, don’t abandon
me! Help me
to get up at midnight and do hisbodedus the
right way—with singing
and praise, by pouring my heart out before You like
water. Make me worthy
of truly loving my fellow Jews, leaving the aspect of
“dispersed and divided”
behind and never harboring hatred or suspicion of any
Jew in my heart.
Grant me the merit to completely repent of my anger
and contentiousness,
of my jealousy and scorn of others.
36. Master of the Universe, pull me out of
the stormy waters,
of my obsession with money and honor, and save me from
the desire for food,
which is so difficult to overcome. For all of these
foul me up and keep
me from experiencing any taste of holiness. Please,
save me from all these,
especially from the lust for money, which is twice as
bad as any other
lust. It is the impure husk of Haman-Amalek, and it
swallows us up along
with all the good that we do. Save me from this tough
impure husk. We should
be begging that You help us subdue, break, and uproot
this lust for money
from ourselves, and from the world, twenty-four hours
a day. We must beg
of You that we would be worthy of extracting all the
life-force and holiness
from it and returning all the holy sparks and Divine
life-force back to
their source in the upper world—to turn them back into
Torah once again.
37. Master of the Universe, make us
worthy, even now, of
all the spiritual aspects of sending portions of food
to our friends that
each and every Jew in the time of Mordechai and Esther
experienced. Make
us worthy of the true self abnegation that everyone
achieved then by virtue
of their true mutual love. Help us to break all of our
base desires, especially
the lust for money, for by eradicating them, we become
capable of merging
together and illuminating one another. And this is the
secret of sending
out portions and giving gifts to the poor. Make me
worthy of attaining
that which they did in the days of Mordechai and
Esther, that the Jews
became like a single entity and, through this,
received the Torah anew—willingly,
out of love.
38. Father, make us worthy even now of
this merging together.
With it, each person can illuminate the other with his
perceptions, with
his Torah, with his advice, and with his Divine
service. And when it is
done graciously and generously, it is a taste of the
light of Moshiach
ben David. It is the force that removed Vashti from
the world. Make us
worthy of fulfilling the demands of the day, by
singing and dancing. And,
through this, may we draw down the light of
Moshiach.
39. Master of the Universe, reveal the
secret of drinking
wine to us, for doing so can bring about a
rectification of the Covenant.
Reveal this secret to us, for drinking can release the
Divine spark from
the impure husk of Haman and bring about a
rectification of Adam and Chava’s
sin. She squeezed grapes and gave him to drink, and
his heel that had shone
brighter than the sun was darkened. All the worlds
fell from their original
level. Make us worthy now, that our drinking of the
wine, which is rooted
in the sefira of Binah, which has as
it's source the guarded
wine that will be revealed in the ultimate future,
will help to return
all the worlds to their source, as they were before
the sin. And just as
Rabbah woke Rabbi Zeira from the dead through the
power of his drinking
on Purim, let us also draw down the secret of
awakening the dead
with our drinking on Purim. Make us worthy on
this Purim
to experience the arrival of Moshiach ben David and
the rebuilding of the
Temple, the complete redemption and the resurrection
of the dead, speedily
and in our days.
40. Master of the Universe, my Father in
Heaven, make me
worthy of experiencing this amazing illumination, the
light of the “resurrection
of the dead” which is drawn down on Purim. By
drinking wine in holiness,
the “squeezing of the grapes” is rectified. Just as
Rabbah merited to reawaken
Rabbi Zeira from the dead, with this illumination,
every single person
can begin to live a completely new life, a life he’s
never known before,
in the aspect of “I haven’t yet even begun to live.”
[From the story of
"The Seven Beggars"]. This is the eternal life that
the true Tzaddik
lives. It comes from an amazing egolessness, and from
the true self-effacement
that is the mystical key to the resurrection.
41. I beg of You, Hashem, open up the
heavenly gates of
love, favor, and kindness for us and shine Your
countenance upon us, especially
on this day of Purim that has the power to
revive the dead. Rabbah
resurrected Rabbi Zeira on this day. Rabbi Zeira was
also called the “small
one” and he would enter into a fire without being
burned every thirty days.
Please, grant us true and eternal life on this day of
Purim. For
Purim
is the end of the week of mourning over Moshe
Rabbeinu, whose humility
is engraved on every one of our two hundred and
forty-eight limbs. Help
us to attain an awesome level of shame before You and
to experience new
understanding of the Torah. Its hidden paths have the
power to save even
a lost sinner like me, for the paths that I knew have
already been swallowed
up by the Other Side. You are prepared to “lead the
blind in a way they
knew not,” to lead even such a damaged person as I am
down a path that
had been hidden from me until now.
42. Master of the Universe, please help us
to always rise
higher and higher, to great heights, so that we can
fulfill the words of
our holy sages. They told us that a person must say,
“When will my deeds
approach the deeds of my forefathers?” There is no
generation that does
not have its Avraham and Yaakov, its Shmuel and Moshe.
Moshe's soul is
secreted away in Gan Eden that is in the world of Atzilus,
the place
that “no eye saw but You, oh G-d.” He was worthy of
this because he never
opened his eyes. He never saw anything but Hashem, for
wherever he looked,
he only saw G-dliness.
43. Master of the Universe, this day has
the aspect of
midnight; it is like Yom HaKippurim. On this
day they give to all
who stretch forth their hands. On this day when all
prayers and requests
are received, I, the destitute one, have also come to
pour my prayer out
before You with a feeling of endless love and
attachment to You. Please,
Hashem, may the force of my love and attachment give
me the merit to shake
off my leprous body and don Shabbos garments—a holy
body from Gan Eden.
Bring me to the level of Serach the daughter of Asher
who, by giving the
news that “Yosef is still alive!” merited to enter
into Gan Eden together
with her body. Please help me to also call out, “Yosef
still lives!” during
these days of Purim, and to sing and dance
just like Serach the
daughter of Asher. For it was in the merit of her song
and dance that her
body was transformed into a holy body from Gan Eden.
Make me worthy to
attain the level of Chanoch, Eliyahu, Moshiach, Basya,
Serach, and Yehoshua
ben Levi who merited to enter Gan Eden together with
their bodies.
44. Master of the Universe, I know that
one can only attain
all of this through guarding the covenant. So please
make me to be like
Yosef the Tzaddik who sanctified the whole
universe by guarding
his eyes. Help me to no longer damage the covenant or
damage my eyes. Then
I will be like Moshe Rabbeinu who experienced the
revelation at the burning
bush in a holy body from Gan Eden during the first
week of Adar.
Then all of my depression and cynicism will be
transformed into joy and
happiness, and the mazal of wealth will be
revealed. All the sorrow
that stems from corruption of the covenant will be
nullified, and all negative
passions will be changed into holy love. And all the
lights of fire will
become true lights. I will then be worthy of receiving
a Torah of truth
and seeing the world created anew. The light of the
moon will then be as
the light of the sun, and my two eyes will shine like
the sun and the moon.
Eliyahu’s blessing to Elisha, the blessing of
“twofold” will then devolve
upon me. It is the blessing that was given when a
chariot and steeds of
fire separated them, as Eliyahu ascended in the
whirlwind to heaven. His
body was secreted away in the lower Gan Eden as his
soul ascended to the
upper Gan Eden.
45. Master of the Universe! Bring me to
all of the exalted
levels that the righteous men and women attained
through their powerful
and endless joy in You. Help me to be like Yosef the Tzaddik
who
was called a “successful man,” for he was always
jubilant. He leaped and
danced even in prison, even in a pit as dark as the
grave. You were his
light, for he never lost sight of You or saw anything
but You. Bring me
to feel the joy of Yosef whose entire life was like Purim,
for he
never opened his eyes. Bring me to feel a ceaseless
joy, to dance in circles
of joy that go on forever. Bring me to feel the joy
that You had in mind
when You created the universe and said, “Let there be
light,” when the
light of the moon was like the light of the sun. For
You created Adam HaRishon
so that he should praise and sing to Your Name. If he
had only done so,
he would have again made the moon’s light like the
light of the sun. He
would have remained in Gan Eden forever, he would have
drunk the wine of
Eden every day of his life. He would have worn
garments of light and his
heel would have shone brighter than the sun.
46. Help me, Hashem, in Your great mercy,
to strip off
my leprous body that comes from the skin of the
serpent, from the pollution
of the serpent that stems from Haman-Achashverosh.
Then I will don my Shabbos
garments—a holy body from Gan Eden.
47. Master of the entire Universe, You
heal the undeserving,
so please heal both my body and soul in Your great
mercy. Heal me, and
I will be healed. Save me, and I will be saved. Heal
me of my leprosy and
quickly remove my leprous body from me. In Your
kindness, dress me in a
holy body from Gan Eden so that my mazal will
ascend and I will
be worthy of attaining wealth. Bless me with Your
blessings and shower
great wealth upon me in holiness and purity. Empower
my good inclination,
remove this heart of stone from me. Grant me a heart
of flesh so that the
sadness and cynicism that comes from melancholy will
be nullified. Then
the poverty and the suffering that comes with it will
be nullified as well,
for the burden of poverty is too much for Your nation
Israel to bear, particularly
the great need and stress of the worthy Jews who want
to enter into the
truly holy path. Have mercy on us in Your amazing
kindness and shine the
mazal
of wealth upon us so that all of the wealth should be
found among the worthy
Jews who long to truly serve You, so that Your Name
will be glorified and
sanctified. And may the sarcasm and jibes of all those
who oppose worthy
and G-d fearing Jews be nullified from within us. Give
us strength so that
the wise heart, which is to the right, should
overpower the foolish heart,
which is to the left. This “right” will then raise the
fallen, from false
passions and terrors to holy love and heavenly awe.
And the “right” will
drive the darkness from their eyes so that they can
see wonders.
48. Master of the Universe! In Your great
mercy, make this
Purim
festival the beginning of Pesach, for Purim
is the path to
Pesach.
Draw the holiness of Purim and Pesach
down upon us. Help
us so that we should always speak about Your wonders
and Your Torah, and
we will merit to always reveal true Torah. Have mercy
on us and quickly
save us. Make us worthy of driving away the darkness
that covered the face
of the abyss so that the light of truth will shine in
the world. Then it
will be as if we, ourselves, created the
universe.
49. Master of the Universe, You cause the
dumb to speak.
Grant us a mouth to speak about Your Torah and Your
true wonders always,
so that we should be worthy of telling our children,
grandchildren and
every Jew forever about the wonders that You did for
us from the time we
left Egypt until now. Merciful One, help all of us to
have true vision,
eyes that always see the truth, so that we can look
and really see Your
wonders always. Open my eyes, and open the eyes of the
entire Jewish people,
so that we should see wonders from Your holy Torah
that You revealed through
Your true Tzaddikim. And only You know the
wonder of the lessons
that they revealed in this world. By having true
vision, all our pleas
and requests that we pray opposite the Temple Mount
will ascend. Through
this, the redemption that depends upon the heart will
be awakened.
50. Merciful and Compassionate Father,
what will become
of me? I am so much worse than Lot was, for I see how
You send Your holy
and fearful angels to save me from all that comes upon
me. They grab me
by the hand and drag me out of the deepest hell; they
drag me with all
their power and say to me, “flee toward the mountain!”
And the earth already
gapes open beneath me and I, worse than Lot, continue
to race after my
foolishness, after my lusts and my crooked ways. I
cast shame on the true
Tzaddik
and desecrate his great name. Because of my many sins,
he continues to
be hidden from the understanding of people. And the
exile goes on from
year to year. My G-d! What have I done?! I have
desecrated the very name
of the holy Tzaddik who brought me close to
him! I even blamed him
for my troubles and failed to realize that it was my
sins that brought
them upon me. For I ate forbidden foods; I was not
entirely pure with regards
to strange women. I bowed to the idol of my own
accomplishments. I had
faith in the work of my own hands—in my intellect, and
my wisdom. I transgressed
the command of the prophet, “Let not the warrior
praise his own strength,
or the rich man his own wealth.” All my senses, my
eyes and ears, have
becomes stopped up. I can no longer feel any vitality
in my study of the
holy Torah that is said to be like butter and honey.
And instead of completing
the Talmud every year and rising from one level to the
next, I invented
my own festivals and ate butter and honey every single
day.
51. Master of the Universe! In Your great
mercy, make us
worthy of always drawing the holiness of Mordechai the
Jew and Queen Esther
upon ourselves. And help us to reveal and illuminate
all the supernal colors
that exist in gold, silver, and copper with great
holiness, in accordance
with Your good will. Have pity on us, in Your great
mercy, and bestow the
attribute of true mercy upon us so that we will be
able to have mercy on
others and give much charity.
52. Act mercifully with us from Your
heavenly place and
grant us abundant sustenance, good and blessing,
charity and mercy, life
and peace. Please, bestow complete and holy awareness
and all good things
upon us and nullify all controversy in the world.
Remove all forms of hatred,
jealousy, provocation, and conflict from among all
Jews forever, and send
down mercy and peace into the world, truly great peace
among all Jews and
for the world as a whole. Then all the people of the
world will have mercy
on each other out of great and true love and mercy.
And give us a good
livelihood from heaven. Just as You sustained our
forefathers, and the
entire Jewish people in the wilderness for forty years
by providing them
with the manna and all their needs, so too, be
compassionate with
us in Your incredible kindness and send us an
abundance of good sustenance
from heaven. Provide us with all our needs without our
having to exert
ourselves at all so that we will be able to do Your
will, to observe Your
commandments and occupy ourselves with Your Torah day
and night, constantly.
Hashem, help us to receive the Torah anew on this Purim
day, to
receive it out of love and joy and delight. For our
lives are so transitory;
they are like nothing, and our days are like a passing
shadow. And if not
now, when?
53. Master of the Universe, full of
endless mercy, Knower
of all. You perform unimaginable wonders, limitless
miracles. Nothing is
impossible for You; You can do anything. You know all
about the straits
we are in right now during these crazy times, when we
are besieged from
all sides. All the nations stand over us to destroy us
and we can hardly
walk the streets. “Outside the sword kills, and terror
reigns within.”
The angel of death is breathing down our necks, and
everywhere we go he
sets up physical and spiritual ambushes for us.
Please, merciful and compassionate
G-d! Only You can save us from his hands! What have we
done? We ourselves
drew him close with our many sins; we corrupted all of
our limbs and senses,
our minds and vision, and—what is worse—we became
arrogant. For after all
of the damage that we have caused, we still say, “we
are righteous, we
have not sinned.” We behave like Zimri and demand the
reward of Pinchas.
But You, in Your great mercy, are prepared to forgive
us even now, and
overturn all of our thoughts from evil to good, from
arrogance to humility,
humility which is the epitome of self-effacement and
egolessness. Until
we should come to the understanding that we are many
times worse than everyone,
and even worse than ourselves!
54. My Father in Heaven, teach me. Show me
the way and
give me strength to come to this, to always know my
true worthlessness
and lowliness. And even so, I should be able to
strengthen myself before
all those who try to prevent me from serving You and
who try to wear down
my grasp of the truth. Help me that I should never
nullify myself to them
at all, and in everything that is the absolute truth,
that I should be
like Mordechai who did not prostrate himself. Even so,
I must really know
that I am worse than everyone, even the most wicked
person who says, “if
I only had a Torah scholar here, I would bite him like
a wild ass.” I must
know that even he is much closer to true repentance
than I am, and he will
easily repent. For I have spent my whole life thinking
useless and abhorrent
conceitful thoughts, thoughts that have distanced me
from You utterly.
And they have hidden all the ways of the Tzaddikim
from me, ways
of salvation that could have helped me to rise along
the road that would
bring me to You. But mounds of dust, dirt of laziness,
depression, despair,
and arrogance have covered those paths, and they all
stem from this feeling
of, “all of this is worthless to me.” My G-d, what has
happened to me?
I have overturned the whole order of creation into
something evil! For
when You created Adam HaRishon, You planted him among
all the trees of
the Garden and said to him, “See how sweet and
well-made are My works.
Make sure You don’t destroy my world.” And from the
time that he sinned
and ate from the Tree of Knowledge through his
arrogance, we have yet to
come out of this fearsome flaw. He made trouble for us
and brought us to
stumble and sin. He led us to be gloomy before the
Lord of Hosts, and dragged
us down into ever deeper sadness until we lost all
connection with the
circle dances of joy and delight, and we stumbled into
false humility.
We were self-effacing before people when it was easy
for us, and abandoned
the true Tzaddik who is like Mordechai, who
guides us and shows
us the true path in ways of pleasantness. For his ways
are pleasant, the
ways of learning Torah while singing and dancing. And
if we had only been
worthy of going in his ways, we would have come to
true humility, and we
would have merited to have the Tzaddik
embodied within the six sections
of our hands and the six sections of our feet. He
would have led us and
showed us the straight path to reach the true
humility, genuine egolessness
and absolute self-effacement.
55. And this self-effacement is the nature
of the month
of Adar, whose letters teach us about
humility. Aleph,the
small aleph, is to be like a sheep that is
led. Dalet, representing
poverty and humility, is to be one with nothing of
one’s own.
Reish,
is poverty and penury, “for the arrogant
person and I cannot dwell
in the same dwelling,” for he drives the Shechinah
from him and
all the paths and ways are hidden from him.
56. Master of the Universe! Draw us close
to You, spread
Your wings over us and allow Your Presence to dwell
within us during this
month, the month of Adar. The name of the
month means “to dwell,”
and You asked of us, “Set aside a corner for Me and I
will dwell among
you.” It is the time when You graced us with the favor
of Your Countenance
and You Yourself wanted to return Your Shechinah
to us.
57. Allow me to come to the level of
“Then Moshe
sang” by first attaining the humility and silence of
Moshe Rabbeinu, for
the melody of the Tzaddik who is like Moshe
raises souls up and
out of heresy. Moshe attained all of this during the
week of revelation
at the burning bush, which occurred in Adar.
The name of the month
is also related to the melodies of the Torah reading,
which are called
“weapons of war.” With them, the Jewish people
vanquish their enemies,
drive away all the impure husks, and become worthy of,
“And it was overturned.”
58. Master of the Universe, Lord of joy
and delight, before
You there is no sadness at all, and Your eyes never
close in slumber. You
promised us, “I will go down to Egypt with you, and I
will surely bring
you up.” But now, it is already one thousand nine
hundred and thirty years
that we are sleeping deeply in the grip of this awful
exile, and the trouble
and spiritual destruction surrounds us on all sides.
And the deepest aspect
of our slumber gets stronger every day: it is that we
forget You. And as
we sleep, You stand over us and beat us to wake us up
from our slumber,
to arouse us to get up and cry out to You, for You are
full of endless
mercy. And there is no end to Your ability to help us
and instantly save
us. And all You want is that we should just cry out to
You a little bit.
59. I beg of You, merciful and
compassionate G-d, just
as You saved Your nation Israel through Mordechai and
Esther in a mere
three days, save us also, instantly, in this
generation. Oh, if we would
only stand up and cry out! If we would only wake up
and cry out!
60. My Father, compassionate and merciful
Father, please
save me and wake me up from my deep slumber, for I
only sink deeper and
deeper into sleep with every passing day. And if I
might have cried out
and woken up before, by now I’ve already made peace
with my situation and
fallen into a profound slumber and awful despair. And
You only want what
is good for me: to awaken me from my sleep that I
should cry out and be
saved, that I should rend the heavens with my crying
and screaming like
Moshe whose prayer was like a double-edged sword.
There was no heavenly
barrier that did not split before his prayer. And even
though the very
heavens and earth shifted and the order of creation
was disrupted and all
the heavenly angels locked all the gates above,
Moshe’s prayer tore through
and ascended nonetheless.
61. Master of the Universe, help us and
the rest of the
Jewish people that our dances and songs on this day
will be the vehicle
through which You forgive us for all of our sins.
Bring us to true thoughts
of repentance, and to truly repent of all our
misdeeds. Help us to really
feel the truth of Your G-dliness and to know that only
You exist. Help
us understand that it is not Haman or Achashverosh who
smite us, but You
alone in Your great mercy and kindness who does this
in order to wake us
up from our deep sleep that has been dragging on for
almost two thousand
years, so that we should again attain all the holy
awareness that we lost.
62. Master of the Universe, You hear all
cries and hearken
to the prayers of Your nation with mercy. You revealed
to us that cries
ascend to the highest realm, and with them, even such
a fallen one as I
am can draw down new holy awareness. I, who have
fallen from all seventy
facets of the Torah, from all fifty gates of
understanding, who lost all
the thirty-two paths of wisdom—I wandered on paths
that never were before,
and innovated false and confused ways that no human
being every trod on
in the history of the world.
63. I beg of You, have pity on us, for we
still wander
from one error to another, from one sorrow to the
next, from one complication
to another. And You have already sent us amazing Tzaddikim
in every
generation—Rabbi Akiva, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, the
Arizal, the Baal Shem
Tov, and their students—to wake us up. And we go on
dreaming, loving our
nap. We fall into deeper sleep every day—immeasurably
deep! And yet we
can still cry out to the King? For You are diligent
every moment and send
us amazing and truly merciful Tzaddikim to
wake us up, who exert
themselves to arouse us with song and dance. These Tzaddikim
revealed
to us that, on this day, the light penetrates through
all barriers and
illuminates even that which is hidden in casks,
vaults, and secret places.
Every single space is lit up with the most precious
light. They revealed
to us that all sins can be transformed by repenting
out of love, and that
the broken heart becomes a vessel to receive the
Infinite Light, and that
melody and song in particular, even though it appears
as though they embody
no more than one facet of Torah, can actually raise up
those who have fallen
away from all seventy facets of the Torah. They
revealed that dancing,
which has no letter form to it at all, can raise up
those who have fallen
away from even the forms of the letters. For, in
truth, melody and song
are higher than all seventy facets of the Torah, and
all the seventy facets
are rooted and hidden within them. All the wisdom and
sciences, and all
intellectual achievement, concepts and ideas, stem
from them. The ten types
of song parallel the ten commandments, for with them
the broken Tablets
and broken hearts can be put back together. And with
them, the true Tzaddik
heals us.
64. Master of the Universe, have pity on
me and purify
me from the impure husk of Haman on this holy and
fearful day that is thirty
days before the Exodus from Egypt, a day about which
the Torah says that
all of the Jewish people had “light in their
dwellings.” It was a day on
which they merited to see what was in the cracks and
crevices, until even
their flaws and sins, their shortcomings and failings,
were revealed to
them. They then knew what to ask for and what they
needed to repair so
that they could emerge from slavery to freedom in the
ensuing thirty days,
and, beyond that, to receive the holy Torah after
fifty more days. Sanctify
me and raise me up on this holy and awesome day, this
day when we begin
to learn the laws of Pesach. On this day You
reveal to us just how
to go from slavery to freedom, how to rise from Asiyah
to Yetzirah,
from Yetzirah to Beriyah, and from Beriyah
to Atzilus,
and how to subdue the spiritual root of Haman that
prevents us from ascending
from world to world and from one heavenly chamber to
the next. For, it
was he who caused Ben Azzai and Ben Zoma to stumble,
and who brought about
what happened to “Acher.” But even the guardian of the
gate of Gehinnom
could not stand before Rabbi Yochanan when he went to
release “Acher.”
65. Master of the Universe, have pity on
me! Redeem me
and save me, even though I am so much worse than
“Acher”, even though I
sinned and caused others to sin countless times. For
You revealed to us
that You send to every generation the most wondrous Tzaddikim,
about
whom it is said, “Even the guardian of the gate did
not stand before you.”
I beg of You, Hashem, in Your great mercy, reveal them
to me! Enlighten
my eyes with their holy writings and their incredible
prayers, and do not
afflict me with blindness any longer because of the
terrible defilement
of the covenant that I caused.
66. Master of the Universe, bring me to
experience the
amazing lights and exalted worlds that Mordechai and
Esther themselves
attained. Through absolute self–nullification to the
Will of G-d, they
also made the rest of their contemporaries worthy of
it too. Mordechai
made himself into nothing at all, and so he merited a
“great golden crown,”
and the light of the moon became like the light of the
sun for him. He
ascended to the hidden world, to the world of Leah,
until he reached the
world called “the head that is not known.” He merited
to know nothing,
to not know or see what will be. He cast his entire
burden on Hashem, and
His Will alone was in his sight. And Esther followed
in his footsteps and
said, “and if I perish, I perish.” In this way, they
both ascended to amazing
worlds and brought light from there all the way down
to this physical plane
and to all the ten sefirot of the Other Side.
They revealed His
G-dliness in all the hidden places and lit up all the
darkness until, “many
of the people of the land became Jews.” And Mordechai
the Jew—“mara
dachya” who is like pure myrrh, “ish yemini”—is
connected to
Yesod
of Abba. He brought light to Esther who is
connected to Yesod
of Imma—the light of true egolessness, which
is to be able to become
absolutely nothing for the sake of G-d’s Will. And she
ascended to the
world called Abba, and was herself called,
“Avichail’s daughter.”
Through this, they drew down illumination from the
highest realms, and
with them, they raised up all the holy sparks from the
impure husks until
they managed to separate the holy spark from Haman
himself. And so Haman’s
descendants converted; they learned and taught
Torah.
67. Master of the
Universe, source
of all light and mercy, have mercy on us despite the
fact that we have
fallen into the ten sefirot of the Other
Side during this exile
and have lost all seventy facets of the Torah. Send
us true Tzaddikim,
like You sent in those days, at this time, like
Mordechai who brought illumination
to the lowest levels with the light of his holiness.
He brought the Jewish
people out of the great slumber that descended upon
them over the course
of seventy years. He restored the holy awareness of
the seventy facets
to them that they had lost during those seventy
years. He righted them
after their fall into the ten sefirot of the
Other Side, for Haman
and his sons who are the sum total of all impure
husks came upon them when
they fell. And Mordechai, in his great righteousness
and holiness, in his
purity and humility, with his complete egolessness
before Hashem, merited
to subdue them, until he was worthy of a great
golden crown from the side
of Abba, greater than them all (which is the
mystery of
Adam
Kadmon). And from there he drew down the
illumination of the resurrection
that is drawn down every Purim. It is the
mystery of the rectification
of the Tree of Knowledge, the rectification of death
itself that Adam brought
to the world when she “squeezed grapes and gave him
to drink.”
68. I beg of You, merciful G-d, don’t hide
Your Face from
us! For even if we have drowned in a bog of quicksand
so that we have no
footing, even if we are buried from head to toe in
fearsome impurity which
is even worse than the ten sefirot of the
other side—still, don’t
hide from us! For You can save even us in the merit of
the amazingly pure
and holy Tzaddikim that You send to us in
every generation, Tzaddikim
who are like Mordechai and Esther. They are completely
hidden and are elevated
beyond our wildest imaginings. They were never broken
in the world of Tohu—they
remained pure and free of any blemish or stain. Their
souls predate the
breaking of the kings. They are like Esther—they
inflame the hearts of
Your nation Israel with a holy fire, a fire that burns
everlastingly. They
kindle the hearts with a holy fire that burns on in
their breasts, a fire
that feeds upon itself and is drawn from the fire of
the Angels of the
Heavenly Chariot—a heavenly fire that nothing from the
Other Side can stand
against. With this fire, they kindle the Jewish hearts
that they should
not rest or relax by day or by night, that they should
continue to fight
Hashem’s war, “continuing even on the fifteenth.” In
the merit of these
Tzaddikim
who surround us with a holy seal of total humility and
egolessness and
with a wall of burning fire, please shine the light of
Your Face upon us
and save us. Please, Hashem, in the merit of these Tzaddikim,
draw
down to us new holy awareness, mental faculties that
were never shattered,
from the wellsprings of Binah, in the merit of
Queen Esther who
entered Achashverosh’s chambers on Purim
itself and destroyed the
impure husk of Haman and his ten sons. She then
requested another day to
continue Hashem’s war—the war against Amalek in every
generation—especially
in those cities surrounded by a wall from the time of
Yehoshua ben Nun.
For Yehoshua, in his total egolessness, also fought
the war against Amalek.
Esther drew down the light of Moshiach for all time,
with the power of
the Tzaddikim who are called “a wall” and “a
seal,” who inscribe
us with the “seal within a seal,” who inscribe the
entire world from its
beginning to its end. They descend in every generation
to inscribe us with
the seal of holiness, the seal of fire and the wall of
fire that have as
their source the hot wellsprings of Binah, the
sefirah of
fire. These are the gevurot that are the
golden scepter that destroys
all of the impure husks and from which emanates all
the holy wealth which
itself comes from the light of
self–nullification.
69. I beg of You,
merciful and compassionate
G-d, may our Purim joy, our feasting and
drinking on Purim,
bring us to experience the highest level of G-dly
awareness which is drawn
from the fiftieth gate. Help us to experience Your
supernal Will, to know
“nothing at all,” not even the difference between
“cursed is Haman” and
“blessed is Mordechai.” May the illumination of
“blessed is Mordechai”
give us the strength to separate out all of the
divine sparks buried within
the impure husk of “cursed is Haman” and rectify the
mistake of King Shaul,
who was meant to separate all the holy sparks from
the depths of the impure
husks, and particularly from the husk of
Haman-Amalek.
70. Our Father,
merciful Father,
reveal to us the ultimate conclusion of all the holy
advice, the incredible
understanding which comes only from “the fiftieth
gate,” for with it one
can separate out the divine sparks that are trapped
in the depths of impurity.
With the power of faith of Shmuel the prophet, who
is the true Tzaddik
in every generation, one draws down this amazing
intelligence with the
advice to “sit and do nothing”—by having simple
faith in the true Tzaddik.
For our ability to destroy all the impure husks and
the Other Side and
its minions is only as strong as our faith that we
have in the Tzaddik
of the generation. With this faith, King Shaul would
have been able to
utterly annihilate Amalek. With it, Esther remained
silent and so allowed
the highest point of light to shine through. With
it, we can receive the
light of the Torah anew. This faith enabled Yehoshua
to receive from Moshe.
And Moshe, who received this light even more
powerfully, merited to receive
the Torah from Sinai. This is the secret of the
shame and humility one
can be worthy of on Purim. Moshe merited it
completely, such that
even the skin of his face radiated light.
71. Master of the Universe, merciful and
compassionate
Father, make us worthy of the complete redemption, of
the time when the
moon will shine like the sun, and the light of the sun
will be sevenfold
stronger—like the light of the seven days of creation.
Make us worthy of
experiencing this incredibly complete light through
the power of our joy
and our singing and dancing on this holy and awesome
day.
72. Hashem, help us, on this day which is
the preparation
for Pesach, to see the light of, “I, and not
an angel. I, and not
a seraph. I alone, and no other.” Help us to
know that all that
occurs in the world in all its diversity is
orchestrated by You alone,
for only You can overturn the hearts of all the
enemies and accusers and
transform them into loving friends. Only You can
instantly change all the
trouble into salvation, pain into light, affliction
into delight, evil
into wealth, and obstacles into sweetness. All this
happens in the merit
of the Tzaddik. It is all a preparation for Pesach,
when
it was revealed to us that there is none but You. For
there is no hiddenness
before Him. He breaks through all the veils and draws
salvation down to
us.
73. I beg of You, Hashem, bring us to true
faith in the
sages on this day, that we should merit complete faith
in Mordechai the
Jew who is the Tzaddik in every generation.
Help us not to veer
from his advice to the right or to the left. Let us
not be like the generation
that participated in the feast and bowed to the idol
and to Haman. Rather,
let us resolve to do everything he says, down to the
last detail. Even
if, to our limited understanding, his words seem out
of sync with reality
and even dangerously subversive, let us be like Queen
Esther who said,
“And if I perish, I perish.” By virtue of this
steadfastness, we will merit,
in even this generation, to draw down all of the
salvation and wonders
that come from the act of giving charity. For giving
charity can change
the natural order of things and transform the hearts
of kings and officers.
It can change frightening decrees into amazing
salvation, spiritual destruction
into being desirable before G-d, and apostasy into
amazing faith, until
faith will brighten the entire world, including all
the gentile nations,
just as it did during the days of Mordechai and Esther
when, “many of the
people of the land became Jews.”
74. I beg of You, merciful and
compassionate Father, please
arouse me to repent through the humility that stems
from the true joy that
animates the six sections of the hands and feet,
especially on this day,
when the spirit of the Tzaddik spreads forth
and blows the spirit
of arrogance right out of us. Help us to hear the
“voice of my beloved
knocking,” the “voice of the turtledove that is heard
in our land.” This
is the voice of Esther who is the Shechinah
whose “turn came.” For,
on this day, the Shechina’s turn comes for her
voice to be heard
within our limbs, our hearts, and our senses. Three
hundred and sixty-five
days a year, we hear the voice of the evil inclination
battering away within
our every artery and vein, in our three hundred and
sixty-five vessels
and our two hundred and forty-eight limbs. It runs
through every vessel
and every bone, every sense and limb, until Esther’s
turn comes, the turn
of the Shechinah . May it be Your Will that
her voice be heard crying
and battering away from within us, from within our
limbs, our vessels,
and our bones. May we look forward to waking up from
her voice that blows
through the six sections of our hands and our feet,
and to repenting out
of humility and endless joy.
75. Master of the Universe, open my eyes
and I will see
the wonders of Your Torah. I beg of You, make us
worthy of understanding
wonderful new Torah concepts—interpretations that can
bring us to feel
a profound humility and shame. This shame which has as
it's source the
light of Purim, the pure light of Hashem that
existed before the
breaking of the vessels, from a place that remained
pure and undamaged
by the breaking of the vessels, a place where there is
no mention of Haman-Amalek.
It is a completely good, pure, and brilliant light, a
light that puts even
the sun and the moon to shame. It is the light of the
seven days of creation
that illuminates the week of the anniversary of Moshe
Rabbeinu’s death,
the pure light of faith, where no enemy, oppressor or
accuser holds sway.
May we merit to draw down this light all year long,
and all our lives long,
forever—for the entire generation and every
generation, especially the
light of Moshiach, the light of the
resurrection.
76. Master of the Universe, allow me to
become incorporated
within the attributes of Moshe Rabbeinu, in the holy
spirit of the chief
of all prophets, on the seventh of Adar. He
was the most humble
person who ever lived and from the moment of his
birth, was himself a part
of the light of the seven days of creation. For he
comprised all of the
light of all of the souls of the Jewish people, for
his soul was literally
hewn out of Your Essence and includes all of the souls
of Your treasured
people.
77. Master of the Universe, Your mercy is
limitless, and
there is no end to Your great kindness and wonders.
But what is greater
than all is Your humility. For just as Your greatness
is infinite, so too
is Your humility. You allowed its light to extend to
Moshe who was the
choicest of Your prophets. Empowered by it, he even
went back to Datan
and Aviram, his detractors, to try to appease them and
make peace. He even
said to Korach, “I too would like you to be the Kohen
Gadol.”
78. Please, merciful and compassionate
Father, make me
a part of Moshe Rabbeinu’s humility, his peace-seeking
and kindness, and
his love of others. These pure virtues allowed him to
see the greatness
of each and every Jew and believe that they would all
certainly repent,
as long as they still had breath within them. Help me
to receive from the
light of the crowns You gave to him that emanated from
the spirit of holiness,
and from the sapphire that had been secreted away in
the two hundred and
forty-eight worlds. You constructed his holy body from
it, a body that
had nothing material about it at all.
79. Bring me to become a part of the
humility of Moshe
Rabbeinu who carried us all in his bosom like a
nursemaid bears an infant.
Help us to be dazzled by his light and to ascend in
his crowns. You crowned
him with four hundred and twenty-five lights, and with
them he made the
Jewish people feel such longing and yearning for You
that they said, “we
will do and we will hear.” With every word, he brought
them a new soul,
and You crowned him with three hundred and sixty-five
crowns. With them,
he renewed himself every single day.
80. Master of the Universe, help me to
become a part of
his pure soul. Even before his soul came down to this
world, You raised
her up before Your Throne of Glory and entrusted her
with all of the keys
of loving kindness and mercy, for the sake of those
who do Your Will, and
all of the keys of judgment to punish all those who
abandon You and who
oppress Your children.
81. Even before he came into this world,
You crowned him
with the letter “mem,” which corresponds to the
Throne of Glory
itself, with the letter “shin,” which
corresponds to the three legs
of the Throne which are the three Patriarchs, and the
letter “heh,”
which corresponds to the sefirah of Malchut,
the fourth leg
of the Throne. You led him through all of the lights
of Gan Eden and past
all the heavenly hosts, until all of the angels and seraphim
trembled.
A terrible voice that shook the very firmament was
then heard: “This soul
will one day descend among humankind and give the
Torah, the most hidden
treasure of all, to cause to tremble all the upper and
lower worlds.” At
that moment, all the angels on high accepted his
supremacy and said, “You
have caused men to ride over our heads.”
82. Master of the Universe, in Adar,
whose sign
is Pisces (the fish), You helped Moshe
Rabbeinu to pray five hundred
and fifteen prayers, and he sang before You so that
his prayers would be
accepted. Help us also to begin each and every one of
our prayers with
songs, praises, and dances so that they should ascend
before You and be
accepted. Master of the Universe, make me worthy of
becoming a part of
Moshe the faithful shepherd’s love of his fellow Jews.
He prayed to save
them from all the four future exiles and from the
destruction of the two
Temples with complete self-sacrifice during the month
of Adar.
83. Make me worthy too of praying for the
sake of the Jewish
people as Moshe did during the first week of Adar.
The sign of the
month is Pisces , and he prayed to save the
Jewish people who are
likened to fish.
84. Hashem, help me to mitigate all the
judgments that
are on me, on the Jewish people, and on the world as a
whole. Those judgments
are drawn from “techeiles.” Let me be like
Mordechai who “went out
before the king in garments of techeiles,” who
came before the King
of the Universe and merited to mitigate all of the
judgments that stem
from techeiles . He wore garments of “chur/white”
and awakened
the soul of Chur who sacrificed his life to save the
Jewish people from
idolatry. And Mordechai, with his great crown of gold
was the aspect of
“the righteous who sit with their crowns on their
heads.” He merited to
mitigate all of the gevurot that are called
“gold” and experienced
the light that comes out of Eden where the gold is to
be found. He made
himself like dust, and he was willing to throw himself
into the muck and
mire to save the Jewish people. He therefore merited
to wear a great golden
crown, to draw down light from Adam Kadmon,
and to be surrounded
and protected by angels.
85. Master of the
Universe, make
us worthy of this incredible light that Mordechai
drew down for us, in
each and every year. Make us also worthy of the five
aspects: to be like
dust, earth and ashes, and throw ourselves into the
muck and mire for the
sake of Hashem's honor, just as Mordechai did.
Through this, we will come
to wear the “techeiles,” and to mitigate all
of the judgments that
derive from techeiles, so that the Tzaddikim
like Chur who
sacrificed their lives to sanctify Your Name will be
embodied within us.
And then we will wear the golden crown “inside our
heads” and internalize
and understand those concepts that were beyond our
understanding before,
until even our free will is nullified and we become
like angels. Then we
will be worthy of the protection of the angels
Uriel, Refael, Gavriel,
Michael, and Nuriel. They will surround us by day
and night and guard us
from all harm.
86. Master of the Universe, You drew down
the light of
Purim
for us from the very highest realms, from the fiftieth
gate itself even
while we were still in exile and had no Temple.
Hashem, draw light down
for us from the fiftieth gate, amazing new Torah
concepts that come from
there, both now and all year long. That is where the
light of redemption
and salvation comes from, the light of Moshiach ben
David who will destroy
all of our enemies and oppressors, our tormentors and
persecutors. Esther
ascended to that place to draw down the lights of Purim
by making
herself into “perurim” (crumbs). Esther became
“Istahar”
("like the moon"). She repaired the moon, bringing to
it the light of the
seven days of creation with her awesome humility.
Through Mordechai, the
light that existed before the sin was drawn down to
her. For Mordechai,
together with the Men of the Great Assembly understood
the mystery of Chessed
and Chochmah. By putting the words, “the Great
One, the Mighty One,
and the Awesome One” into the Amida for all
time, they revealed
that salvation sprouts from every calamity, and that
there is a treasure
trove of light to be found in all kinds of
darkness.
87. So too, draw upon us now this “Great”
light, in the
merit of the Amida that Mordechai the Tzaddik
and his companions
set down, the prayer that begins, “G-d of Avraham, G-d
of Yitzchak, and
G-d of Yaakov, the Great, Mighty, and Awesome G-d.” In
the merit of this
prayer, send us the three Patriarchs just as You sent
them to Queen Esther
and reveal the secret of “Great, Mighty, and Awesome”
to us. Then we will
see Your true Greatness, that even the calamity before
us is really a revelation
of Your Might. Then we will draw upon us the light of
Purim forever
and ever, and the light of Purim will not
leave us or abandon us.
Then the
Tzaddik and faith will surround us. It will
strengthen
us and protect us all year long with Your eternal and
unending light.
88. Master of the Universe, Giver of the
Torah, in Your
great mercy, You gave us yet another day during the
year to receive the
Torah once again out of love. And if we had only
merited to do so at Sinai
when we were totally pure, then the Tablets would have
forever remained
in Moshe’s hands, Moshe, who was like the Ark of the
Covenant, who carried
those who bore it. Each and every student would have
seen new concepts
and details and all of the practical advice he needed
according to his
own strength and understanding in them. The words of
the Torah would have
been engraved on his heart forever. Moshe’s light
would have been a thousand
times brighter than the light of the second Tablets,
and the Torah would
have never been forgotten. Then we would have
remembered everything we
learned for all time. Our hearts of stone would have
left us and we would
have been given hearts of flesh. We would have risen
forever with endless
humility and limitless holy understanding. Moshe
Rabbeinu would have entered
the Land of Israel immediately, into Zion, the epitome
of beauty, and would
have built a Temple to stand forever. He would have
come to Ma’aras
HaMachpelah, to the gates of Gan Eden, and
removed the Keruvim
and the flash of the revolving sword from there, to
uncover the path to
the Tree of Life for the righteous nation who guards
its faith. If it had
only been this way, we would have immediately been
worthy of the resurrection,
to the light of the moon becoming as bright as the
sun, and the sun’s light
being sevenfold the light of the seven days of
creation.
89. In Your great mercy, You sent
Mordechai and Esther
to us during these days, at this time, and they are
like the sun and the
moon. They shared the light of receiving the Torah
again out of love with
us just as it had been at Sinai, just as the Jewish
people shone with a
supernal light at the time that the first Tablets were
given. They shone
from one end of the earth to the other, and Moshe
shone a thousand times
brighter than the rest of the Jewish people.
90. And now, on this holy and awesome day,
You want to
restore all of these lights and high levels to us. And
in the ultimate
future, all of the elderly Torah scholars and Tzaddikim
will shine
with an even greater light than that which shone
during the seven days
of creation. Then we will drink from the wine of Eden
and eat from the
wild ox and the Leviathan, and You will spread the
Leviathan’s skin out
over the walls of Yerushalayim until they shine from
one end of the world
to the other.
91. Then the daughter of Zion will sing
and be joyous,
and the nations will receive understanding from the
shining of your light.
The children of those that afflicted us will bow
before us, and all who
despised us will realize our true worth. And we will
be called the people
of Hashem, and Zion, the Land of the Holy One of
Israel.
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© 2001
Breslov Institutions, Yeshivat "Shuvu Bonim",
All
Rights Reserved.
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